This makes life better.


My life is now complete:

Thank you Jesus.


Brain Fart WWE Wrestlemania predictions

It’s almost Wrestlemania time and i am looking forward to watching that shit live sonnnn. Being a wrestling fan i feel like making my own predictions on the even with a lead up that has been pretty poor at times but still looks good on paper. This is going to be a long one (That’s what she said??)

Here are the matches in the order i think we’ll see them:


We have the pointless Diva match which features the compulsory not so famous person appearance with three “Divas.” Don’t get me wrong, i enjoy the concept of chicks in their underwear bouncing their boobs all over the place, but in terms of wrestling, my prediction is i will sleep through this one and someone will win. (God we miss Lita and Trish.)

Team Teddy vs. Team Johnny

So here we have a 12 man tag team match featuring the mid-card talent from both Raw and Smackdown. The GM of each team has a chance to run both shows if their team wins. So the stakes are high for the GM’s but who cares, they both suck wart ridden ball sacks. At least they found a spot for Dolph, Kofi, Drew, Mark Henry, R-Truth and everybody’s favorite underdog (And Italian) SANTINO MARELLA. I loved seeing him in the elimination chamber PPV earlier this year. Would have been insane if he actually won it. Ideally i would like to see WWE actually put this guy in some fights and give him an aggressive side while maintaining the humor outside the ring. The Cobras gotta go.

My prediction for this one is a screwjob ending with team Johnny winning it all….maybe Tensai will come in to replace one of team Johnny’s guys or some shit…

HHH vs. The Undertaker with Shawn Micheals as special ref. (Hell in a cell / End of an Era match)

Last years HH vs. Undertaker match was pretty good. Taker went hard and proved that he hasn’t lost it. HHH is a G so you know he can do some pretty cool shit in the ring. This time around, we have Shawn in the mix to keep things interesting and best of all, it’s a hell in a cell match.  Takers streak is 19-0 at Wrestlemania now and HHH wants to end that shit. This fued had the best lead up from all the matches on the card if you ask me. So why is Hell in a Cell dope?

Well, remember what happened in this classic when wrestling was a lot better?

Hopefully this years match will have some classic moments at least. Obviously WWE are a lot more cautious with their talent now and would probably avoid anything remotely close to the above classic, but you never know. Both Taker and HHH are not fulltime on the roster so the risk of them being out of action for a while isn’t that big of a deal.

My prediction for this is Taker wins and the streak continues and next year we’ll see something like HHH vs Shawn vs Taker in a triple threat match.

CM Punk vs Jericho (Best in the world match)

This is my most anticipated match of the night honestly. The sheer in ring ability of these two is enough to already call this bout a classic. Punk is the champ, Jericho is a legend, and they both have tons of experience in the ring. They also have phenomenal mic skills and know how to cater to the crowd perfectly. The story so far is punk claims to be the best in the world, Jericho has a problem with that since he’s the best according to him, they talk shit about each other, then Jericho talks shit about Punks family and airs their dirty laundry live on TV. Up to this point the match was too clean and the characters motivations were not convincing enough to build any real type of anticipation. Now that they brought in the family angle, we have the makings of a great match and perhaps an ongoing fued should things go sour for Punk. I heard they extended Jerichos contract till summer so there’s a chance he’ll screw Punk out of the title and drop it to him around Summer Slam time.

My prediction for this is Jericho will beat Punk in some sneaky way and everyone will boo him out of the stadium and the fued will continue till the next PPV.

John Cena vs The Rock

So this is the big one. Two of the biggest stars in sports entertainment going head to head. One has been gone for a while and is still regarded as the best wrestler to ever touch the mic ever. The other is the Hulk Hogan of the new PG era. Look, people are tired of super Cena and his four move routine. WWE has been trying to get people to support him again but all their efforts have pretty much failed. I have the solution to their issues, turn him heel and watch the people cheer him again. However, this is a business at the end of the day so when you sell as much merchandise as Cena and attract entire families to join in the fun, it’s hard to turn all that MONEY away just to cater to us older fans. I understand the dilemma but firmly believe a heel turn for Cena would do wonders for the business and bring back a lot of people to wrestling.

This should be a good match regardless of the above rant. Both guys know how to work the ring and the crowd will be firmly behind The Rock which may force Cena to pull out some new tricks finally. I don’t think they can recreate the magic from Rock vs Hulk back in Toronto, but it should be a pretty interesting match regardless.

My prediction is Super Cena wins and shakes hands with The Rock at the end, even though i would much rather have some big fucker like Brock Lesnar or Batista come back and fuck them both up to ruin the match and maybe give Rock the win since he’s gone once Wrestlemania is done. This would set up Cena for a fued and life goes on.

So now you all know how much of a wrestling geek i am and i can already see all the ladies strapping on their chastity belts in reaction to this revelation hahaha i actually snickered when i wrote that.

Peace people.

MRI scan

“Don’t move for the next 15-20 minutes please.” Really?

I am proud to announce that I am no longer and MRI scan virgin. Had my first today and it was mad irritating.

For those of you that haven’t been in the tomb of boom (that’s what i call it now), you basically lay strapped on this table with your head in a brace and get mechanically rolled into this tube that proceeds to clank and bang for the next 15 to 20 minutes, at least in my case. The sound it emits is very similar to a late nineties pc that hangs while playing an mp3. While that shit was going on in the tomb of boom, my mind drifted to so many strange places and all I could really think was REEEMMMIIIIIIIIIXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX! Seemed appropriate at the time for some reason.

So 10 minutes into the scan my arm starts to get numb and I felt like it was moving on its own haha I mean who the fuck stays completely still for extended periods of time at my age?

The results will be available in two days at which point I’ll have to set up another appointment with the doc so he can give me that dumb ass doctor advice like, “I suggest you don’t go mountain climbing or try to wrestle an agitated silver back gorilla.” Thanks Doc, such valuable advice for an exuberant price.

To all 2 of my readers know what’s up with me once i find out. Hopefully everything will be fine.

Before I leave, here is some wrestling humor in anticipation of Wrestlemania 28 fuckers:

**I do not condone laughing at people with disabilities but if you know wrestling you'll get it.**


Fail, Fail, Fail.


I’m sure most people assume i have some mental issues when they read anything on this page, but i swear i’m pretty normal and boring in person.

Still, if you read my previous posts you would’ve gathered that i dislocated my shoulder on Thursday while working out at the gym.  That was the first fail of my weekend followed by a night of drinking that ended with me passing out on my bed with every conceivable electronic device in my room switched on. Yup! That includes my laptop, iPad, iPhone, Nintendo 3DS, and PS3. I even left a random message on my brothers facebook wall. I swear i do not remember typing that shit. I said something like “Have fun tonight and don’t get into too much trouble.” Funny coming from a drunk incoherent person.

So again, my night of alcoholic consumption ended pretty pathetically. Only thing missing in this case would be a ketchup stain riddled wife beater and a bigger beer belly than the one i already rock.

***Beer is the nectar of the Gods and a gift to all manking. The beer belly is only a minor side effect. For more information, please visit you local pub.***

The worst thing about this whole situation is that, believe it or not, i was pretty dedicated to the gym and working out for the last few weeks. I even started to see results. Still, perhaps all champions get injured at some stage. I only hope I can heal up as soon as possible so I can get back to fine tuning this aging body into something acceptable.

I have an appointment with a doctor to check out my structural integrity, my lower back and shoulder to be precise.

Pretty dull day at work (Yes i work on Saturdays too) and nothing much to report.

Speaking of fails, check out this article:

Oh shit there’s something wrong inside……….new track.


Add another one to the injury list.

Not that anyone is reading this anyway, but I dislocated my shoulder today. Hurt like a motherfucker! I swear, not only is it painful, it’s fucking freaky when your arm is twisted in such an odd manner and you can’t move it in a natural way. Not to mention, rolling on the floor in pain….embarrassing and uncomfortable.

So how did it happen you ask? I was at the gym working my shoulders with a very LIGHT weight. Next thing I know, pop shift and pain! I shiver when I think about it.

Doc says I need an MRI scan but they’ll call me soon to schedule it. Until then, I have a few hundred pills to consume.

Time to drink away the pain.


Good Thursday to all my UAEians looking forward to the weekend.

I’m going to guzzle a fuckload of beer one way or another tonight and this is my theme song

BTW, i want to start my own band similar to what Limp Bizkit and the rest of them had done, so if anyone is interested, hit me up.